2011 conclusion for me.....❤

最近想用华语写,

不想用英文,

觉得用英文,

很多东西都很难想华语那样表达~~

hmm...

好了,

回来!

.

2011年,

对我来说,

算是蛮特别的,

请让我用特别来形容~~

因为我真的无法用其他字眼去形容~~

.

.

年头,

过着一样的日子,

一样的生活~~

真的,

我以为今年也是那样的过下去~~

.

谁知道重头戏在9月开始~~

.

停了工作后,

跟同班同学的关系,

明显的改善了~

直到现在,

我还会在想,

是否不该花太多时间去做工,

而没去好好和他们相处.

我的疏忽......

.

朋友;

fanxy,

大家开始迈入不一样的人生,

所以很明显的,

大家的价值观开始不一样,

想法也开始有出入,

但是不代表因此而有争吵和讨厌,

虽然争论在所难免~~

但是还是要接受所有的批评,

这样才会有进步.

不一样的环境栽培不一样的想法.

怎样都好,

保持自己的心,

才是最真诚的对待方式=)

.

今年,我的生命中出现另外个男的,

是除了富以外,

另外一个重要的人,

很重要...

我从来没有预想他的出现,

而且在我人生中画了很多的痕迹.

痕迹不代表是丑陋的,

有些是美丽的,

幸福的~

.

是他重新让我站起来,

明白爱情的定义,

让我感受到,

一味的逃避,

只会让自己更痛苦,

幸福,

你给了我不一样的幸福.

谢谢你.

希望我也有给你一样的感觉~

真心的感觉^^

.

.

而富,

谢谢你愿意退一步,

我想,

连你自己也不曾想过,

你会有低头的一天,

我不是取笑的意思,

因为我也被吓倒的人.

未来,

我不懂和你怎样.

也不敢期望奢望.

我只知道,

能相遇一起,

不简单.

希望我们可以彼此珍惜...

.

.

.

好了,

2012,

欢迎您的到来,

新的一年

请多多指教和照顾~~❤

Merry Christmas..

MERRY CHRISTMAS...

This years was so special for me....

special doest mean i get any surprise abt present or else,

just can say,

anything have been change abt me and him...

8 years,

i 1st time get present from him,

feel lose my mind..

.

.

Everything been start again..

Since....

i voice out the word,

break and rest...

is kind a strike for us...

.

but now,

we start learning each other again...

throw away previous heart...

know each other again......

.

23 December 2011,

our new start..

L.O.V.E

LOVE

if wikipwdia up,

it will show you,

"Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment, Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection; and "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another".

In English, love refers to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from pleasure ("I loved that meal") to interpersonal attraction ("I love my partner"). "Love" may refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love of eros, to the emotional closeness of familial love, or theplatonic love that defines friendship, to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts

Love may be understood as part of the survival instinct, a function to keep human beings together against menaces and to facilitate the continuation of the species."

IN dictionary.com,

it show,

"

love

noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.

noun

1.

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.

a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, asfor a parent, child, or friend.

3.

sexual passion or desire.

4.

a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person;sweetheart.

5.

(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection,or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

verb (used with object)

15.

to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.

16.

to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for(another person).

17.

to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to lovemusic.

18.

to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.

19.

to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover."

but in fact,

who know the meaning exactly?

who can describe truly what is love?

a normal explanation really can fully write out the feeling of love?

the sweetness,the hardness,the goodness and badness?

it is unknown question and unknown answer as well....

1300km/h trip of us~~yeepiiii

This year HariRaya was crash the date with Merdeka

so mean that will be in same day of 2 celebration

it is such amazing to us~~

get more holidays and str8 for long holidays!!!!

yuhoo!!

.

.

in order to dun want waste such nice holidays

i have force my hubby bring me to 1 place i craving long time

it is...

CHERATING BEACH

.

.

3 of my best friend follow with us.

but we din do any plan of it...

just visit with free and easy to relax our holidays........hiak hiak

no plan no organize

nothing at all~~

book hotel and go ahead!!

.

But the fact is we are out of control,

we decide to go other route that is different,

just becoz we are crazy~XD

LOL

mean,

original plan just went cherating,

then change to

kuatan-cherating-terengganu-kelantan-camera highlands-ipoh

LOL

if you are dun understand how crazy we are?!

try check goggle map how long it is!

we are insane indeed!!

we thought it is easy mission

but in fact,

it is not at all!!

So,just becoz of new route,we force to stat 1 night at camera highlands,

it also bonus to us~lol

hiak hiak

.

the trip are memorable for my whole life

enjoy and satisfy my soul totally~hehe

1300km/h~~

how bravo we are!

total expense for petrol and hotel just RM120

Total with all just around RM200 per person~~

hahaha

so cheap lehhhh~~~XD

I just like to Reading❤

I am so love to reading book~~~

Many kind of book I have done reading

feel so satisfy and excited when reading~~

Just realize i'm a good gal now~XD

HAHAHAHA

.

Now start read about mentality book

start read since i at child~~

i like to learn all the thing i dun know

adsorb all knowledge provided by those experience writer.

They are so gorgeous to write down and share their thought to us

We shud appreciate it ❤

yuhoo♥i luv sem break♥

During sem break right now~~

although just a very little really little few weekss

but it is more than enough to me to refresh♥♥

.

.

By the way,xixixi

photo shooting again with my dear brother~~♥

it is a new stuff to me~

really=D

♥i luv it♥

regardless of every part,

the mood the atmosphere

but sum of my friend thought that it not really suit my style

but....

it is just a new try new experience

it can exp

lore mys

elf to be different

why not to try??XD

I found a new image of myself~~

it is love♥♥

Mood...........

Gonna be graduate soon,

i shud be happy,right?

.

but it is out of my imagination...

because,

i totally feel scare with it

.

i dun know why i get this kind of mode.

maybe....i afraid to work?

but not,

i used to work since i 15th years old.

or maybe....i afraid to change new environment?

but i dun think so,

i always change new environment since i work for freelance.

alot of maybe appear in my mind.

.

.

by the way,

until now,

i also not sure this field izzit that i want.

i feel lost and hesitation.

.

i scare to make wrong agin,

because too much wrong i have been make,

and i regret with it.

.

.

but another way

as my dearest say.....

"be optimism"

i think i will fresh up my mind to throw away those bad thought,

and try to be positive people.

后悔......

后悔...

我不停的后悔....

很多人和我说,

千万别别后悔...

但是我现在被后悔折磨着....

好辛苦..

.............

如果不想和我在一起,就明白的和我说.

请不要耍我,或者对我用你的大男人主义.

这样只让我看到你的不成熟和意气用事,

赢我这女生让你很骄傲吗?

如果真的那么厉害,

就努力奋斗给我看啊!

痛..

心又开始纠结了...

不要去想,

不要去比较,

选了就是选了...

不能后悔......

当初对自己的约定要记得~~~

专心专心!!

红眼症又来了~

红眼症又和我say hi了....

痛了4 天,

总于有点好转...

但是又缺课,

心很不安...

我要快快好回赶上进度!!!!

第一次也是最后一次.

有点很不开心,

觉得自己那么努力的去让人开心,

不被感激不用紧,

还要受气,

被人说自以为是.

什么姐妹好朋友也不过如此.

感觉是自己傻傻地还去相信这些无谓的东西.

告诉自己算了吧,

是不够的.

太照顾其他人的感受,

连自己内心的感受欲望都被压抑着的感觉,

越来越痛苦,

只能在事后怪自己怎么那么白痴.

所以有时候自私点,

做人狡猾点,

感觉反而更得人心.

.

有时候,

这些就很讲缘分,

有些人发脾气,

却会得到别人的原谅,

有些人发脾气,

却会被人指责,

而很不幸运地,我是属于后者.

压抑感觉,

也不是我想的

.

.

现在我告诉我自己,

够了.

一切够了.

Moody

The "thing"

so confusing me...

i dun know what can i do now,

when she told me the "thing"

i very scared...

scare i have been wasted my 3 years,

scare i get nothing

scare i let ppl disappointed

even scare my future will be darkness

.

.

when i goes to this suck situation?

why i did alot of meaningless stuff?

why i try to escape but fail at last?

why i so bad luck?

why?

why?

why?

what can i do to change the bad situation?

i so damn scare!!!

我什么都没有.

最近几年,

我过的不顺利,

我问自己,

我到底还有什么??

.

我心里很不开心,

很多人很尽力的让我想开,

但是问题一来,

我还是无法解决.

我真的很失败....

.

.

你,

我只有你,

跟你在一起虽然平凡但是很舒服,

我真的想就这样和你走下去

不尽人意

人生,

真是很复杂,

总是不能尽人意,

本来以为可以安全的过关,

谁知道还有更大的麻烦等着我,

我都不懂能不能那么幸运的过每一关,

.

想回我刚进中学的时候,

更婷,瑞和姗等去见counselling,

其实那时候我一点烦恼都没有,

爸爸虽然不关心我,

但是我已经习惯了,

虽然upsr的成绩也不是我要的,

但是我也不觉得我有什么好失去的,

感情也遇到初恋.

金钱也不会特别烦恼.

.

当时候会去counselling,

单纯去陪朋友而已,

但是现在的我,

真的很需要counselling.

.

.

现在的我,

无法做任何东西,

我只能走一步算一步...

好想你

好爱你

以前见你,谈何容易...

现在见你,难如登天...

一星期见一次真的不够的...

心里满满都是你

❤

Family

从小,

很多人都告诉我,

父母的爱是无私地,

是很伟大的,

但是,

为什么

我却感受不到??

甚至地,

我不喜欢我的家,

很烦,

充满压力,

想逃出去的感觉~~

.

我想,我的家并不美满.

爸爸时常不在家,

也不关心疼爱我,

自以为的只要控制我们的经济,责骂,

就是疼爱我们的行为.

从来不知道,

我们兄弟姐妹

恨不得他不要回家,

他一回家,

我们全部都躲在房间,

就怕他脸黑黑,

无理取闹的在乱骂我们.

又时候,

我看到他,

真的很无言.

或许,

他可以赚很多的钱,

可以拥有很多的财富,

但是他却失去我们.

我们不爱他.

.

.

母亲,

她是很不错的女生.

但是却因为爸爸的不珍惜不疼爱.

变的砖牛角尖,

变的比以前不一样,

变的只顾自己,

不顾其他人.

但是我们知道,

她已经对这家付出甚多.

但是地,

可能我和我妈妈8字不合,

我们时常吵架,

有时候只是一个小事,

就吵到屋顶翻.......

可能我们都stubborn吧??

.

.

建立一个家庭,

真的不简单.

Holidaysss

Holidays coming<3

although just a 2 weeks,

but it more than enough to me ya~~

Design really a such difficult and amazing stuff,

love it but suffer on it~~

just left 2 semester.

hope i can safely go through on it ya.

.

by the way,

i have abit regret to shift school,

now think back,

it is quite a silly and stupid decision by me.

that time just think to escape,

never think twice,

it is my false for my life.

although everyone of my dearest advise me to stay on that moment,

but i follow my stubborn mind,

it is so sorry for everyone and myself.

.

so sorry to dad,

that time i let you disappointed.

.

.

oh ya<3

now i addicted to photoshooting,

cause i know a best photographer,Daniel

he is a good and quality photographer<3

hope everyone like the effect<3

My 1st timeeee~~~

My 1st photo shoot~~

hahaha~~

how it is?

give some comment jek~~keke

.

.

but i feel weird lor~~~

maybe i not used to it bah??

.

.

but quite funny xia~

kakaka~

hope next time can be more best=)

.

and thanks for my photographer

Daniel<3

thanks for take photo to me ,

and teach me how to posing,

encourage me to be confident,

and

make the picture more leng^^

really thanksss~~~

.

.

by the way,

just realize that be model very sam fu...

keep posing and smile...

damn tiring!!!

but the most tired is the photographer larrr~hahaha

HIM♥

这次,

想写不一样的东西....

.

他

我要写的他,

是我的他,

我的男人,

..

..

我们在一起很久了,

今年8年,

但是他告诉我,

不要觉得一起很久了,

要一直认为刚刚开始,

刚刚才相爱,

这可能是我们保持温度的方法吧?

.

说起来,

我真的很喜欢他,

为什么呢?

其实我也不是很懂,

其实也只能说缘分吧?!

但是这次不是说我们的故事,

是说他.

.

.

他,

拥有不是很好的背景,

很好的学历,

甚至很好的外来条件,

或许,

有人会好奇,

为什么我会喜欢他,

我想,是性格吧?

.

其实,我蛮仰慕他崇拜他,

不酒不烟不嫖,

不追求物资,

也没有去认识女生,

有时候,我甚至会觉得他有点不正常,

但是他对这些偏偏就没有欲望,

所以也让他显得比较木纳吧?

.

不只,

他是很有义气,有交代的人,

义气的帮朋友,

虽然偶尔教我不要吃亏,

但是其实他吃亏比我更多,

每天都载朋友,

义不容辞,

也没有趁机抽人家的油钱...

即使几爱睡几累都好,

他都会硬着头皮去...

有时候,我也时常麻烦到他,

载我,或载我朋友,

无论什么时候,甚至凌晨半夜

只要他没做工,

他一定会尽力的去.

.

.

他是很有责任的人,

努力,默默的做自己的本份,

甚至做超出地,

做到很累很辛苦,

却毫无怨言...

看到我很心痛下..

.

.

对我,

其实老实讲,

他除了人比较木纳,大男人要面子以外,

他对我真的不错...

很努力地对我好,

很努力的满足我的要求我的任性...

几累都好,都会竟然满足我.

物资也是,

没钱,

宁愿少吃少出,

都要买我要的东西给我,

陪我到出处走...

因为我爱四处跑....

每天都尽量的陪我爱我珍惜我...

.

.

.

其实我真的不计较你有没有钱,

我在乎的是你的人品,

不是所谓的死物.

对我来说,

你比金钱来的更重要.

我宁愿少吃点,

都不想失去你.

还有,

做工加油,

新工作看起来很难熬,

也不懂未来有没有出头天...

但是别失望别担心....

i will be with you forever and ever as i can.....

2/4/2011

最近开始想未来,

我到底适合什么?

该做什么?

.

其实真的很可笑下,

要大学毕业了,

才去思考这问题,

因为我已经选科目了.

付钱读了,

不用这做工很浪费,

但是我却有自己一套的想法.

我想走自己的路.

无论有前途没有.

.

.

越来越发现,

认识我的人对我的感觉就是,

'好谈'

'多话'

'活泼'

其实我并不觉得自己是那样地,

因为我其实很怕说话,

怕说错话让人不快,

也很内向,

会一直说话只是因为怕闷到人家,

怕人家和我相处会很无聊.

所以我才无时无刻都在想东西开话题.

.

但是可能连我都不知觉的,

爱上了说话,

爱上了交谈,

我十分地喜欢交际.

.

因为交际让我学会东西,

学会做人,

学会人生,

学会活到更有意义.

.

我想把我这方面的喜欢和读的科目放在一起.

希望我可以找到对的方向来走下去.=)

my way...

I have lost my way....

i dunno where should i go now....

izzit i'm in the right track?

confusez..

.

when i leave from secondary,

i miss my way,

dunno what i want actually?

dunno what i choose correctly?

.

feel damn emo all the times

escape the painfulness all the times

since i stop escape,

when i look back,

what i done actually?

it is seem nothing....

should i persist the way i choose?

.

i am find another way to escape those painfulness come from my choosen,

but escape come with double pain in the end

.

should i admit that i choose a wrong way?

i really confuse my future,

it seem not my dream future...

i just keep follow the rest road the i choose...

parents and other ppl's expect,

been let me collapse...

.

.

what should i do now?

persist or give up?

Mumbling**

ahhhh...

why i so short??

i damn hate my body figure!!

short but breast special b**

why huh??

i just wanna be normal person!!

i don't want such body figure!

it is obsession me alot!

i cant wear what i like,

cant do what i like,

everything bound by it!!!

damn damn pissed off!!!

izzit plastic surgery will help me?

but i dun wan scar appear in my body,

i just wan balance balance and balance...><

.

although many ppl are paying jealous on me,

but i really dun think so it is good enough to me,

i hate it!!

GOD,

if you paying me a perfect body shape,

but can you get me 1 more thing?

i need height much!!!

but i damn disappoint what happening in mine now.

disappointed and more,

been 21+ liao,

i know i no more hope to this....

sigh,

then,

if cant have height,

then balance me ,can?

beg GOD...

Japan is awesome! Let's pray for japan!

March of 2011 is coming,

earthquake was been to japan!!

It is 9.0 level~!!!

GOSH!!

It is horrible and startle!!!

i cant imagine how Japanese cant pass thru such horrible moment,

they are much respect by us regard this.

.

.

Government is handle all resident by wisely and calm,

all residents of japan are co-operation and helping each other on this moment,

no-one robbery on this moment,

no-one argue due to own benefit,

queue to wait public phone to get contact with family,

queue to super market to by own needs,

.

this attitude is really touch and respect by every country.

hope malaysia have such attitude in future bah=.=

.

.

by the way,god bless all of them to gone this disaster...

Let's pray to JAPAN..

hihi=)

wow~~♥♥

i have been long didnt upload my bloggg...

it like become desert blog...

i'm so sorry......><

.

.

2011 already 3 month,

im ok so far,

nothing happend much,

but argue with him sure have,

"例牌" one.

.

.

study ok also,

graduation just arund the corner,

so aleloya....

haiz....

.

.

working much like usuall~~~

because need money muchhh~~~~

.

.

hehe~~

this post like do report,

will try upload 1 post 1week.

now stop here lorr~~~

.

.

oh ya,

bali trip soon~~

tour and hotel done liao~~~

want enjoy my bali trip 99 this time~~

bikini♥♥~~

muackxxx